Being a California girl, who lives in Central California, only hours away from anywhere I could ever want to go, I pretty much just stayed in Fresno. During a cart-ride around the back lot with one of the ladies in my office, I listened to her tell me how she was going to Yosemite to just get creative inspiration for work and I realized that last time I was in Yosemite was when I was 8, when I lived in Bakersfield!! For crying out loud, if you live in Fresno, go to Yosemite!!! It is a disservice to yourself if you live so close and don't go!
This actually illustrates a larger lesson I have been in the process of learning as I have moved. If you want to do something, do it! Don't just plan obtusely to go out to lunch with someone; the "Oh yea, we should do lunch or coffee sometime." If you want to do it, then do it! Specifically, I wanted to just sit and chat with my friend Laura and I always had it in the back of my mind that one day I should plan it. Well low and behold I move! No more lunch. If someone is important to you, tell them! If time with your friends and family is important to you, then spend it with them. I always thought that if someone wasn't calling me, and I had wanted to call them, my internal monologue went something like this: "Oh, well, they must be busy with their own life, otherwise they would call me if they were free." And there it went, I sat at home and watched TV, spent hours at the gym, what-have-you. What is most important in life are the people in it. The ones who you do, or want to, share your life with. So go, do, share!
So as I start this new chapter, I will take this lesson from the old, and correct my passed missteps. I started today, waking up in my lonely, deserted town-home and I decided to go to the gym. As I got back I couldn't help but break down in tears. How did I go from on top of the world, being surrounded by love and support to coming "home" to an empty room with no one to go meet. So, I called Juan. As a recent mover himself, he has finally acclimated to living alone. That is not to say he enjoys it, but has finally gotten used to it. (Now, you may be thinking, I thought she said she lived with a lady. And that is true, I live in a lady's room in her town home, but I haven't seen her in days due to our difference in schedule.) Juan reassured me that I can do this, I am a mature adult, I am independent, I have a good head on my shoulders, etc. And sure, those traits allow me to be responsible and capable of living away from everyone I know, but those don't make my heart play any happier a tune right now. So I cried. Juan even sent me a bible quote that I sent him when he moved Psalms 46:1-3
After I cried, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "You can fix this. You go out there and you spend time with the other interns. You are the only one to make the next step. So do it right. You can either stay in your room all day and cry, or you can go out there and do this right!" So I got ready and went to Manhattan Beach with Tu and Kelly, two other Disney interns. We had a good time in the sun on the beach, getting ice cream, walking the shops and I finally got some sushi (and beer)!
Goodness! Such an experience it's been! I love it. I owe my family and friends and a huge thanks for all their love, support and encouragement! I can do this knowing you are all rooting me on! Thanks. Love you all!!! And good night!
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